"To Hell With All That!"

As I sit at my computer, keyboard atop pillow, relaxed and contemplating a recent read of “To Hell With All That” by Caitlin Flanagan, I ponder the notion that there really IS a HUGE difference between a “housewife” and a “stay-at-home-mom”.


I myself haven’t had a “real” job in many years – oh, besides the full-time “job” of caring for three children, three dogs, two guinea pigs, one handsome hubby that I adore which includes but is not limited to the preparation of countless meals at least three times a day with numerous snacks in between, homeschool “teachering”, chauffeuring the two older children to the many activities that I feel they NEED to have for social development, self-improvement, and my own gratification knowing that I am providing them MUCH more than I ever had in my own childhood while the little one trots along happily in tow; and of course, one must not forget the many extra duties that qualify me to call myself a “military wife” that have become more second nature and expected than anything else, though my non-military wife friends seem to view these extra duties as astronomical and daunting to say the least… Not to pat myself on the back and revel in my own self-glory avoiding that these things never seem a little much even for me, but more so to give realization to and acceptance that all of these things and more are all just a part of what makes me the mom and the wife that I am and represents what it is that IS my life – a life that I happen to love profusely and wouldn’t trade for anything in this world! Needless to say (but I will anyway ;) that I view the role of a mother and/or wife in very high regard right up there with any “real” job out there and beyond. At the same time, I have a great respect for all GOOD mothers, whether they work or are fortunate or capable enough to stay at home. Whatever the situation and whatever works for you, if you’re a GOOD mom – kudos to you, my hat is off.


Back to my pondering that recent read… I found so much truth (even in the parts disguised by humor) in so many of the points in this book that it really made me take a step back to look at my own life. Here’s one very fine example that was pointed out in the book about the “housewife” of the 50’s vs. the “stay-at-home-mom” of today: children used to trail behind their mothers following them to all of their many tasks and errands and chores performed throughout their daily lives – children took a back seat to what it was that their mothers needed to do and were HAPPY to do it and never questioned or even explored the thought that they themselves should come first and/or be put above all else! Nowadays mothers cater to their children’s every whim, chauffeuring them (as I admittedly do myself) to their many activities while letting their own needs or errands or chores go to the wayside… After all, who WOULD rather sit there folding clothes and matching socks (THAT NEVER SEEM TO MATCH! Darn that “sock thief” that lives in my dryer!!) than take little Johnny to practice or little Miss Suzie-Q to the sweetest (funniest, most-entertaining, sometimes embarrassing and mildly frustrating) ballet class?? I tell you, WHO?! Who are YOU, because we need to meet and chat – maybe even learn a thing or two from each other!


BUT here’s the thing: I really do want to better model myself after BOTH the housewife of the 50’s AND the stay-at-home-mom of today even equally, if possible. I want to be that super-efficient, one-step-ahead housewife that has everything orderly and knows (without using a book as a reference) the ins and outs of how to do EVERY household chore and when to do them all the while having a running menu and grocery list in my head that will complement each meal into the next, meaning that I don’t have the ingredients for seven different dinner meals that don’t complement each other at all and therefore cannot be incorporated into the next day’s meal in any means which leads to either leftovers that almost NEVER get eaten, or foods that go bad because they were never prepared… I would also like the TIME to cook all of these meals without being pulled away for one of those many child-centered activities that lend themselves to something easier and quicker for time’s sake (takeout) which also leads to waste for all of the obvious reasons. Sure, the answer may seem simple: cut out the child-centered lifestyle… BUT I don’t want to cut out all of those things that I do so well and love so much that are so much a part of today’s stay-at-home-mom!! There HAS to be a way to balance these things, and I am determined to find it, figure out it’s combination, and un-lock it for myself and anyone else who cares to know the value and cloud-nine (I imagine) feeling that MUST accompany the implementation of both such roles in your life as mother, wife – jack of all trades: mommyhood!... Wish me luck!