Business Trip vs. Deployment...

In this era of digital wonder and online social networking madness, I find myself more than a few times eye-rolling at certain types of “status update” posts.. The ones who post them are never aware of my eye-roll, and I never criticize any said posts.. I just read them and even, sometimes, audibly say: REALLY?!

Here’s one that always seems to amuse me more than irritate.. When a wife or girlfriend or whoever posts about how hard it is or how much they miss their civilian significant other while they’re away on a business trip or something similar for a few days.. I always think to myself: I wonder if they realize how many people might be out there on their “friends list” who have a soldier as a husband or boyfriend (ha ha – “boyfriend” – seems so elementary to say now that I’m fully into adulthood.. hee-hee, ahh.. anyway.. :).. eh hem, as I was saying: I wonder if they realize how many people might be out there on their “friends list” who have a soldier as their significant other..?? Most soldier-having significant other lovers out there in “friend land” have gone through at least one deployment by now or are about to in the near future.. It’s inevitable.. A few days, or even a few weeks, heck a frackin’ month or even a few is far better than the year long stints that we endure.. even with that two week tease that they call “leave” that seems to dissipate all too fast. I know what you’re thinking.. If you’re a fellow soldier-having significant other lover, you’re thinking: Yeah! Right on!!... SO TRUE!!.. If you’re a civilian-having significant other lover, you’re thinking.. (After feeling a little sting of guilt, it is quickly replaced with..): Well, excuse ME for missing my dear, sweet so and so!!..

*Now, just hold on for a few more lines – this isn’t a rant about how foolish I think it is that you miss your so and so.. I miss MY so and so when he is away, too.. This isn’t a superiority contest, either.. :)*

We as military spouses or whoever, most of us anyway, knew what we were getting into when our hearts were stolen away by our military men or women and make no excuses for that.. Yes: It IS just part of the life that comes with loving a military man or woman. Anyone who has watched the news or read a newspaper within the past ten years is fully aware that we are at war, or are pretending not to be but still are, or are about to be with someone..!! I mean, it’s no secret.. And we CHOOSE this life.. and are proud for having done so! At the same time, it still doesn’t seem to make reading those posts any easier.. Now, here’s where I start to sound contradictory of myself..

I think you SHOULD miss your loved one when they’re away any time that they are away.. I know I do. I personally have a very deep connection and bond with my husband and miss him like crazy even when he’s gone for a day!! Seriously, truth be told, I miss him as soon as he walks out that door for a day’s worth of work; whether it be for a few hours or 24HRS, I miss him. Not that I am biased or anything, but I think that’s “normal”.. :) But nothing compares to the heart ache and incredible intensity that I miss him with when he is deployed.. It’s unreal how much it physically hurts to miss someone that much.. The fact that it’s multiplied by about a thousand percent due to the insane amount of stress and worry that always accompanies a deployment makes it even that much more difficult NOT to eye-roll when you read someone’s anguished post about their so and so being gone for a day or two and how they just can’t take it anymore.. : /

I have also encountered the “new to the military” person who goes on and on about their lovey being gone for a few weeks on a training mission that causes EVERY (I don’t care WHO you are – you KNOW you think it..) EVERY experienced spouse or other to say: Ooooh… You think THAT is hard?? Oh, honey, you just WAIT!! (Well, you might not say “honey”, but I do… ;)… SO, this isn’t really a non-military specific issue.. So, where am I going with this?? Do I think that everyone else in the free world has no right to post anything about missing their so and so’s??? No, absolutely NOT.. Post away!!

I just think that everyone should be aware of who might be out there in “friend land” and the situations of others.. This isn’t really a deployment only scenario, either, though it is a good example.. This goes along the same lines with many other topics.. I guess my point is to be AWARE.. I know that it's easier to be aware of certain things when YOU have personally been affected in some way different than that of others, of course, and do not expect everyone to realize EVERYTHING that they should be aware of on every level.. And I’m most likely guilty of some form of eye-roll inducing posting myself – in fact, I’m SURE of it!! Ha!! :).. At the same time, I also don’t think it would be very useful to get angry over any posts that aren’t even anywhere related to YOU specifically, and one would be also be wise not to assume that they ARE specifically directed at you.. I’ve seen THIS a time or two as well which actually induces an even BIGGER eye-roll from me and others.. Let’s not take this stuff personally, people.. It’s just a status update, afterall!!

I guess this is more of dual-ended issue for me, really: Be aware of who may be reading what you write while at the same time being aware when you are the one reading that everyone’s situations ARE different and may not be intentionally trying to annoy or upset you, specifically.

I feel some great words wanting to leave my lips: CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?! ;)

There. I am done. That is all.. :)